Vagabonds by Kyle Olson

Author:Kyle Olson [Olson, Kyle]
Language: eng
Format: epub
ISBN: 9781733906708
Publisher: Two Cat Press
Published: 2019-04-20T22:00:00+00:00

CHAPTER TWENTY TWO

Two legs, two legs, two legs.

Walking on two legs, walking on two legs, because I only have two legs and walking on more than two isn’t something humans do.

Sophia stumbled forward with the grace of someone who knew what walking was only because they’d looked it up in the dictionary, but the important aspect was that she was doing it! Walking like a normal person with two very human legs.

Walking, walking! Don’t think about how much weird it feels, no, no no! This should feel natural because it is!

“Good work,” Yf said, nodding in approval from the sofa as the girl made her trek across the living room, “See, it’s not so—”

“Sophia!” Tarkit shouted, poking his head into the room. Right behind her, of course.

“Agh!”

And just like that, the pants she’d been wearing shredded like tissue-paper, torn apart by the sudden growth of four fuzzy legs and the body to which they were affixed.

“Good work,” Yf repeated, albeit with lidded eyes. She took a long drink from her precariously low drink, bottoming it out in the process.

“Ah, sorry! Didn’t know you were practicing,” Tarkit boomed, because his voice always did, “I just wanted to let you know dinner is ready.”

If there was any consolation, Sophia had managed the feat of staying upright during her impromptu transformation instead of landing in a heap of tangled limbs.

“Damn it! That’s the third pair this week!” Sophia held up a strip of shredded denim like some dead thing.

“You could just go naked.”

“No way. Not with you all watching.”

Yf’s cat tail swished, “Hasn’t stopped you before.”

“That was different!” Sophia pointed at Tarkit, cutting him off before he could do anything other than quirk a brow, “Before you say anything: I’m not some nudist like all you gods!”

“I’m merely a son of a god,” Tarkit said, correcting her, “Besides, when you’ve been around as long as I have, you come to accept there are all sorts. If you’re worried about me, worry not! You’re far too young.”

“Damn it, no!” Sophia shouted in protest, stomping in frustration on the tattered remnants of pants departed, “I’m not some kind of exhibitionist!”

Tarkit put on a thinking face, which involved furrowing his gray, caterpillar-like eyebrows and stroking at his beard, “But Sophia, you’re quite exposed now, yes?”

“Yesssss,” she hissed, dragging her palm across her face, “Only because, you know, my last pair of pants just exploded. Not like I have a choice. Guess I’ll go get the sheet…”

“Who would be interested in seeing a lion? Though, now that I think about it, the other day on the internet, I saw—”

“No, see, I can live without hearing that,” Sophia intervened, but it was too late; her expression betrayed where her thoughts and imagination had ventured. And yet, as much as she’d rather not, there was a part of her that rather would, no matter the cost.

Before either of them could say a word further, Sophia made herself scarce to clothe herself in the finest bedding available.

Learning how to control

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